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Monday, December 6, 2010

Week 1 of the return

Well, a little late with the posting, but that's OK I guess.  Anyway, not much to report about, the week went well from a scale perspective, but not so much from an eating and working out view.  I'm not sure how happy I am about that either, always feels like cheating when you lose weight for no good reason.

Nonetheless, I can see the road ahead, and I'm walking it, albeit with the occasional wander off the path and into the realm of holiday snacking...

Still, no matter how it came about, 3.6 lbs down is better than the direction I've been going for the last few months, so there's not going to be any complaining here.  Got an email from the Guelph Lakes Triathalon last week, nice reminder that I have traiing to do and a goal to set.

I figure that with the Rat Race and the try-a-tri in June I can fix my eye on a training schedule that will include running, swimming and biking for cardio, with some weights added in for variety.  I am really hoping that this year I can break the 35 minute mark in the 5K, especially now that I've proven to myself it won't kill me!

As for the mini-triathalon, doing the 10K bike ride last time with flat tires really didn't give me a good idea of what kind of time I should be shooting for.  Basically, I know that if I inflate the tires properly on my bike I'm guaranteed to improve my time, regardless of training.  That said, I think a sub 1 hour time is possible, though it is definitely in the realm of a stretch goal! 

So there we have it, 2 fitness goals for 2011 as 2010 starts to come to a close.  Both are currently out of reach, and I think both are doable with plenty of hard work.  I read somewhere that goals should be acheivable, but very difficult in order to have any value.  Seems to me that these two meet that criteria, so  let's see how it goes.

And I do think that it'll help with the weight loss motivation too, the less excess baggage I haul with me, the easier things will be.

That's it for now, Wed morning is my next weigh in, so we'll see if the 3.6 lbs was an aberration or not.  Wish me luck!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Failing like Thomas Edison



I'm back! 

OK, to be honest, its not like I really went anywhere.  I just stopped blogging, and simultaneously stopped working so hard on losing weight.  Guess what?  I gained!  Since my last blog entry I've returned back 18 of the 75 lbs I lost.

Well, good I say.  Nothing is really going to point out just how insidious weight gain is than a slap in the face like this.  Its not like we all don't realize the trap, but in my case I blithely marched into it, ignoring all the signs.  Fine, I'm not beating myself up over this.  Its done, and now I have several weeks of effort just to return to where I had gotten.

Funny point is, I read the lines above and realize just how at risk I really am.  "Several weeks of effort"?  Seriously?  If there's anything to be learned from the last 5 months its that this is not about weeks of effort, its about a lifetime of committment.  Everyone has their challenges, things they need to overcome that will be with them for their whole lives.  This is mine, and truthfully, though its really hard, I'm much better off than many others I see around me.

My challenge is managable, if I put in the time and the dedication required, I can achieve my goal.  There are many people who either can't say that or who's efforts to get there are so much greater than what I need to put out.  And so, I return.  Both to blogspace and to the goal of getting my weight below 195lbs.

Now you may be wondering about the title for this posting and how it connects to what I'm saying here.  Its based on an anecdotal story that it took Edison more than 10,000 attempts to perfect his design for an electric light bulb.  When asked it he felt like a failure he was reported to have replied "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

Kinda feeling that way myself right now.  Found another way that doesn't work, on with the next!

Monday, July 5, 2010

Reporting from the Hub of the Kawarthas

Well, I'm on vacation!  And I seem to have lucked into an incredible week to be off, hot perfect July weather with cool nights for sleeping.  I've been up in Bobcaygeon for 4 days now, and its been great.   Having a bit of trouble on the diet/nutrition side though.  Unfortunately, there's something about being up here that lends itself to eating badly, and with my nieces and nephew up for a couple of those days let's just say i've passed my junk food quotient for the month and its only the 5th of July.

That's the downside, and truthfully, its just excuses, since I could just as easily grill a chicken breast as a burger, top it the same and still come out better off.  My commitment for the balance of my holiday is to clamp down and keep my eating restricted to healthy and lean options.  This is doubly important because I am so much more active up here.

Today I rode my bike 14Km round trip for a cup of Kawartha Coffee Co. coffee.  I finished last night with a kayak run after a day of tubing, swimming and other activities.  Today I think I'll have a working day, mow the lawn, run the weedwacker and split some firewood.  And incidentally, the last one is one of my favourite activities in the world, there's something so soothing about splitting logs (at least for me), and in the end you have a nice stack of wood put aside for the nightly bonfires.

Obviously all of this will be interspersed with repeated dives off the end of the dock.  Hot day, hard(ish) work and cool water, bliss!

Anyway, I'll try to do some regular updates while I'm up here to keep track of how I'm doing on the cooking front, and maybe post some of the more successful cottage recipes.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Swimming, Riding, Running....and Finishing!

Well, one short week since my last posting, and one giant leap for my view of fitness.  Last week I talked about the Rat Race and how I would never have believed in a million years that I would've participated in such an event as little as 9 months ago (although my big mouth made me say I'd do it a year ago), but I did.  And I enjoyed it, a lot!

Which brings me nicely into this weekend.  On Saturday, I participated in the Guelph Lakes triathalon!  I did the Try-A-Tri race, consisting of a 375m open water swim









 a 10K bike ride








and a 2K run.

It was brutal!  My fitness levels are definitely not there yet, but nonetheless I finished.  Yup, that's right, I actually made it across the finish line.

There are a lot of reasons to feel good about having done this, a lot of personal reasons to be proud of it, but what I really want to talk about was the people there.

This may have been one of the most incredible experiences of my life!  And it was all to do with the people involved, from the police cordoning off the streets who cheered us at every intersection to the competitive triathlete riding his bike in the opposite direction who stopped pedalling to raise his hands over his head clapping and yelling encouragement to me telling me "good work" and "keep going" I have never seen a group of people so focussed on not just achieving their own goals, but at supporting and pushing everyone around them to succeed.

It didn't feel like a competition, it felt like a crowd of people all looking for the best in each other, and helping find it.  I don't know the names, and never will, of the 10+ people who stopped on their bike ride to offer to help me when my chain fell off, or the guy who high fived me as I approached the end of my run yelling "awesome job" as I headed for the finish line, but this is my attempt to say thank you, and tell you what a difference you made in my first race.

For those of you who haven't done this, I can't tell you that its easy, cuz it definitely isn't, but if my experience is any indication, you will have a hard time finding a more accepting and supportive group of people anywhere.  A Try-A-Tri is a great way to test the waters and the people will ensure that you'll do it again after you've done it once!

Many thanks to Trisport Canada, and to everyone who attended or participated, you made this an experience of a lifetime, and I can't wait until the next one where I hope to pay your kindness forward to the newbies that I meet!

Monday, June 14, 2010

Running with the rodents...

A year ago, quite a bit larger and significantly less motivated to do anything I opened my mouth in front of a bunch of co-workers before engaging my brain.  Now I'm not going to try to pretend that this is a particularly unusual circumstance, but this time I really stepped in it.

I loudly proclaimed during the 2009 Rat Race after party that I was going to run the 2010 Rat Race with the team.

Oops...I don't run, I can't run.  I'm too fat, too slow, I don't have any athletic ability whatsoever.  And now I've trapped myself.  Fast forward 11 months and a bit....Apparently all those motivational speakers actually had some wheat tucked in amongst all the chaff!  Can't is a lie.  Can't is won't in hiding.

On Thursday (sorry for the delay in posting) I ran the Rat Race.  I did a 5K run, did it in under the time goal I had set for myself and it felt great!  I'm already planning my next race.  More to the point, I did it in the company of an amazing group of people.  Everyone there was so stoked up for the race and having a blast, the team I ran with was motivated and a genuinely caring group.

Which brings me to the next point.  Tutus.

Yes, I ran my first ever 5K race in a tutu, along with the majority of my team.  Many people dress in costume for the Rat Race, but in this case it was more than just a costume.  It was a chance for us to show our support and caring for a young boy and his family Tutus for Tanner.  To show that even if we don't know someone we can still care, and given that the Rat race is put on to raise money for the United Way it seemed very appropriate.

The person who intially pitched this idea to our team explains the way we felt far better than I ever could in her blog and so I won't try to reiterate what's been already so perfectly described.  She also gets a special prop from me for being my own personal Jillian Michaels, and ensuring that I beat my time by staying with me through the whole race and pushing me when I started to flag.

It was an extraordinary experience with an extraordinary group and I am honoured to have been part of it.  It also left me with the knowledge that "can't" does not belong in my vocabulary, because Yes I Can (with a little help from my friends), as I finish with a smile!!!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Hot weather running

Another Tuesday, another lunch time run...This time with a slight twist.  Its warm outside.  OK, its a little more than warm outside, its 27 C with a humidex of 31 (thats 81 feeling like 93 for those of you south of the border).  This is definitely lessons learned territory. 

We all know fat is an excellent insulator, and I benefit from this fact all winter long.  That said, running in this kind of heat while being "well insulated" is definitely not a benefit.  Could be one of the weakest runs I've ever had!  My abject apologies go out to my ever patient running partner, she was incredibly tolerant of my walking/gasping for air and stuck with me until I finally told her she needed to go and finish at her own pace (which I might add was twice the rate I was going at).

I'm getting fitter, that's true, and actually even a little faster, but today I learned that there are still some hurdles to overcome, and that until I get much closer to my goal weight I'm still going to see restrictions on what I can (or at least should) do.  And this is a good lesson to learn!

I've been carrying a lot of extra pounds for a very long time, and really don't remember what it was like without them.  As they are coming off, I'm finding myself able to do more and more, and I like it!  Today though served as reminder that as things become easier I need to be aware, I am still very overweight, and this will have repercussions that I need to keep in mind.

Still, 6 months ago I wouldn't have been sitting at my desk right now blogging about my run (well actually, there wouldn't have been a run to blog about), I'd probably be lying on the sidewalk half a kilometre from the office waiting for someone to collect my heatstroked butt and take it to the hospital!  And that, to me, is definite progress.

Next stop, weigh in day.  Probably get there tomorrow and write it up if I get a chance, in the meantime though, I'm going to enjoy this beautiful day, though in a less strenuous manner!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Just a quick weigh in update

Hey all, just a quick post about my latest weigh in.  I have lost another pound.  Not much in the greater scheme of things I know, but I'm focusing on the fact that its the right direction.  Definitely beats going the other way and gaining one!

I figure it really doesn't matter how much I lose in a week, but only that I do.  And I'm pretty happy that I'm not only giving that lip service but actually believe it.  I think that all in all, that's the important lesson for this week.  The quantity of weight I lose is much less important than the basic fact that I lost.  Today I am a little less than I was, and that brings me incrementally closer to becoming half the man I used to be.

My goal for the next week though is to clamp down and work a little harder at staying on the straight and narrow.  I'm going to break out the journal again and start to follow the "if you bite it, write it" rule.  I know when I do this I get better results, and given that this is a long weekend coming up, any help I can give myself is a good thing.

I'll try to update this on Monday or Tuesday, not with weigh in results or anything, but just to talk about how the long weekend went, and review what worked and what didn't.

Friday, May 14, 2010

2.5 pounds closer

Well, I weighed in on Tuesday.  Not too bad, 2.5lbs down and that little bit closer to reaching my goal, though I am still not sure what that is.  I've been overweight for so long now I don't really have anything to act as a comparison.  I think I definitely belong in Onederland (for those who don't read weight loss blogs this refers to inside the 200lb mark, and I was really amused by it), but having not visited there in many, many years I don't know if that's true.

Anyway, the weight is pretty irrelevant, I'm much more interested in the fitness and activity goals.  Can I get to the point where I can run (not run/walk) 5Km?  Can I do a sprint triathalon?  Can I sit comfortably in economy class seats on a plane? OK, the last one's pretty unlikely, as far as I know no one does, so let's modify that to say can I sit as uncomfortably as the majority of people do?

Still, the weight's nice, it acts like a scoreboard, and a motivator, and someday (fairly soon I hope) I will be in a position to say "there's the weight I need to get to".  But in the meantime, I'll keep setting interim goals and enjoying the little victories.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The Biggest Loser

Last night as I watched the Biggest Loser I realized a couple of things.  Firstly, as it was makeover week, how badly I want to get to the point where I can do that.  Make myself over, new clothes, new look, all of it.  I'm really just at the start of this whole journey, and the point where I want to do the makeover seems very far away today.

There's a contestant on the show named Michael, he arrived at 557lbs and since being there has lost an incredible 183lbs.  I can't even imagine the dedication and perseverance an accomplishment like this requires, and yet during makeover week he was still forced to shop at the Big and Tall store.  I truly felt for him.  For weeks he had been focused on how well he was doing, how far he had come, and then this came up and he was forced to look at how much farther he had to go.

Now I didn't start where he did, but neither have I accomplished what he has.  Still, I can truly identify with the reality of looking past what you've done and facing how far you have left to go.  Don't get me wrong, this is a lifetime for me, I have no intention of ever becoming who I was again, but for some reason that show really made me think about how much farther I need to go.  And today I'm a little disheartened.  I'm sure this will pass, as all these dips do, but as I write this, the light at the end of the tunnel looks about the size of a laser pointer.

Part of this I'm sure is the fact that I didn't run yesterday or swim either Monday or today, so I'm feeling pretty down on myself anyway.  I know as soon as I hit the gym, ride my bike or go for a run I'll feel completely different about things, and my weigh in will hopefully help out too.  Anyway, just a part of trying to change I guess, sometimes the journey feels much longer than others.

On the plus side of my realiztions from the show I saw them doing a challenge on a Jacob's Ladder excercise machine.  I want to try this.  I mean I really want to try this!  Its not that it looks like fun, more like it is completely different from any workout machine I've ever seen, and I've gotta see if its as hard as it looks to be.

Anyway, just an update since I haven't written anything in a while, I'll definitely add something in (probably tomorrow) after I have a change to face the scales and see how things played out (or weighed out as the case may be).

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Wow, two posts in two days...

Well, today is weigh in day and I just got back.  No change.  I weighed in at the same weight this week as last.  Kind of digging inside to see how I feel about that and surprisingly I feel the same way as I did yesterday.  Based on the run on Tuesday I already feel like this has been a successful week, and I don't think the scale is about to change that opinion.

I could probably come up with a bunch of excuses why this week didn't go well, but truthfully, excuses are what they are.  I lost weight during a cruise which featured unlimited food from 5:30AM until 3:00AM.  If you can do that, you can lose weight anytime (and no I wasn't seasick!).  Just going to need to put a little more effort in this week, maybe do some planning and pre-cooking of meals.

Anyway, short post just to do my weighin update.  Hopefully next week brings better scale news.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Running

Today my ankle hurts.  Its stiff, sore and I'm walking with a limp.  And you know what?  I don't care!  Yesterday we did our Tuesday lunch time run/walk, and for the first time there was actually more running than walking.  Yes, that's right, I did 2Km at lunch time and ran more than half of it.

Understand, I've never been a runner.  When I was a child I was sent to a sports medicine clinic to determine if there was a physiological reason for why I ran so slowly.  They didn't find anything, it just was.  For a kid, being the slowest runner bites, and after a while I just stopped running at all.  I love to walk, used to walk for hours, but I never ran.  Ever.

Fast forward to today.  My speed certainly hasn't improved, but that really doesn't matter.  What matters is getting out there and doing it, and of course doing more and better each time.  I'm fortunate to have a good friend to run with me who pushes me to try harder, sometimes past the point where I thought I could go.  Funny thing is, she was right, I was wrong.  I could go that far, obviously, since I did.

My run is improving, I'm getting better at pacing, I can run longer before I need to walk to catch my breath and I'm loving it.  I'm never going to be the fastest or the one with the most endurance, and I don't need to be.  What I do need to be is the person who sees their improvements as an opportunity to push harder.  I will be really proud of myself if one day I can run 2Km without needing to take a walking break.  But what will make me prouder is if the day I get there I set my sights on going to 3Km.

Well, tomorrow is weigh in day, so we'll see what the scales say, but regardless of the outcome of my weigh in I'm feeling pretty successful today.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Finding exercise where you can

A busy weekend selling my home, and not a lot of opportunity to work out.  Not even sure how to get to my bike now that its "neatly" stashed in the back of the garage.  Still, I've discovered you can find opportunities in day to day life to get some exercise in.  Case in point, pushing a car that won't start up and incline...

Yup, digging in and pushing a damn car up a slight hill for 100m or so definitely falls into the category of resistance training, as does lifting and moving urns full of rocks and flowers in and out of the house twice a day (still a little too cold to leave them out overnight).  Walking through the neighbourhood killing time during open houses and appointments also provides ample opportunity for a little cardio, though I wish I could've thrown on my runnning shoes and shorts and done a walk/run :)

I'm not going to be able to weigh in until Thursday, which kind of sucks, but may also be a good thing since I can't cook in my kitchen so life has been about restaurant food for the past few days.  Amazing how little there really is on a restaurant menu that is truly a healthy choice.  Can't wait to get back to cooking my own meals, already sick of the eating out thing!

Anyway, just a short note, I'll update further after my weigh in, hopefully with lots of good news and a little less me.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Some thoughts

Sorry folks, I thought I'd actually done this post, but with everything going on I guess I forgot.  Anyway, first things first.  My last weigh in, another 3.6 lbs down.  Very happy about that, it really does feel like I'm making the kind of progress on this I believe I need to make for this to be a permanent solution.

I am running the Rat Race on June 10th, and so on Tuesday we went for a lunch time run.  It was great!  Tiring and maybe a little depressing since it pointed out how far I had to go, but also inspiring because I know 4 months ago I couldn't have done 1/10 of what I did.  I was fortunate to have a friend who kindly chose to run with me, and although she is FAR beyond my level she stayed and pushed me harder.  Amazing how much someone pushing you can help.

We ran again yesterday, and it was genuinely an enjoyable experience.  I'm surprised, but I think in the long term I could really get into running.  There's something about it that seems to appeal to me, and I wouldn't have expected that.

There was a down side though.  After the run, someone made a really cruel comment and my friend took it very much to heart.  Didn't matter that it was patently untrue, there are things in our hearts we can't wipe out no matter what our heads tell us.  Really took some of the enjoyment out of what was otherwise a great run, and got me thinking.

The other day I saw a show about a guy who had lost 400lbs.  I'm absolutely in awe of the sheer strength of will and determination that it must have taken to do something like that.  I know how much I struggle, and read how others struggle and can't imagine what it must've felt like to look at that starting point and realize how far you have to go.  Truly amazing.  And yet, he was completely paralysed by a lack of self image.  The person he had become still contained the person he was and he couldn't get past it.

It made me think, is this going to be the case?  I don't know.  I tend to believe, and so far it seems to be the way it is, that rather than hanging onto where I was I'm feeling great about what I've accomplished.  I'm feeling pretty good about things as they stand, I know I have a ways to go yet, but I'm definitely looking better and I'm going to keep that in mind all the time.

And to cruel comment guy...I'm fat and you're an a**hole but I'm losing the fat, and you'll still be an a**hole.  I win!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

1 day late

I said on Monday I was weighing in on Tuesday, but things kind of got in the way, so I didn't go until today.  That's fine, I still didn't step on the scales at home so I was going in a little blind, and a little wary of what I would see.

Huh, who knew?  I'm down another 6.8 pounds!  Not half bad if I do say so myself (which, obviously, I just did).  As I said, I'm definitely back on the bandwagon, and would like to believe that this is a reflection of that, but regardless, its motivating, as was yesterday's workout.

I'm actually beginning to be able to run.  OK, more like a jog, but for someone who, six months ago, thought that a two block walk was exercise that's pretty good.  Swimming seems to be improving too.  I think that more than weight loss these little indicators that my fitness level's improving are really big motivators.

Really noticing the difference in my clothes too.  I'm beginning to see that this undertaking could become quite expensive, though there's money I'm happy to spend.  Last few days I've been going through closets etc cleaning out things I no longer wear and was surprised to find myself having to clean out things I couldn't wear anymore even if I wanted to!

Should be an interesting couple of months, I have a pair of goals in mind for the May and July long weekends (and no, I'm not announcing them), suffice though to say they are a little ambitious and succeeding in them will make me a VERY happy camper!

In the meantime I'll keep plugging away and keep off the scale at home (actually, I'm following a suggestion from a good friend and packing the damn thing away).

Monday, April 5, 2010

Fear the scale...

I know I keep reiterating here that this is not about weight, its about a lifestyle change and getting healthier.  And I truly believe this.  Which really makes me question the reason that I can't seem to resist stepping on that stupid chunk of digital glass in my bathroom.

First of all, as anyone can tell you, your weight varies quite a bit during the course of a day, food consumed, water weight, even bathroom breaks all contribute to what the scale says.  Also, everything I've read, including pearls of wisdom from bloggers who have had a tremendous amount of success, says don't do it!  Weigh yourself once a week (max) and at the same time each time.

OK, got it, understand the theory, get the practical reasons behind it, and yet I still find myself looking at the scale, and more often than not, stepping on it.  I weigh in (officially that is) tomorrow so this is kind of irrelevant right now, but I am making a committment for next week (Tuesday on).  I will NOT step on the scale until the following Tuesday's weigh in.  I will resist all temptation and wait for the real tally.

My ongoing scale addiction aside, as I've blogged about for the last couple of weeks, I've not been rocking things in my quest to become "half the man".  Had some good days and some bad, but lacking the consistency I had earlier on.  I will admit I've managed to recommitt, and hope to see something good come out of tomorrow's weigh in, but if it doesn't I'm OK with that too (though my constant scale climbing sorta gives me a hint I think).  I do need to renew my regular workout schedule though, as that seems to be sliding, and now that the weather's improving running and biking outdoors is a great option, but doesn't really cover the resistance training component.

Funny how you have these ups and downs, things happen in life and they impact everything you do.  Still, this is about me, and if anything, adversity should just push me that much harder.  I'm not going to try to conquer this in one fell swoop, just say right here and now that this week I will:

Gym Tuesday morning
Swim Wednesday morning
Swim Thursday morning
Run Friday morning
Bike and run Saturday
Gym Sunday

There it is, one week.  I'll write at least one posting between now and them, but next week I promise that I will own up to how I did with staying off the scale and following through on this schedule.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Some pluses and minuses

Well, today was weigh in day.  First one in two weeks, and they were two weeks I can't say I'm really proud of from a weight loss/excerise/motivation perspective, so I was ready for a swift kick in the butt.  I didn't really get it...oh, don't get me wrong, I didn't do well, I only lost 0.2 lbs, but I didn't gain either.

I'm really not sure how I feel about that.  A part of me was really looking forward to the shock of gaining some back, that cold sense that all the work so far can easily just drift away.  As I've been reading other people's blogs about losing weight and excercising I've noticed that many of them talk about hitting plateaus.  These are points when for whatever reason, your body just says "nope, not going to shed another pound, stop begging". 

This is not a plateau.  I stalled.  Plateaus happen as the body adjusts to the changes occurring in it and you eventually push through and resume your weight loss as long as you stick to your guns.  Stalling is different.  Stalling is losing sight of your goal and slipping quietly back into the habits that got you here in the first place.  I'm back on track again, and so I'll admit to being pretty happy to not having to make back ground, but it worries me a bit.

It is soooo easy to fall back into bad habits, scary easy when you consider I actually like swimming, going to the gym and eating properly.  I also wonder that if I can fall off the horse for no apparent reason, how am I going to handle a plateau when even though I've done everything right I still don't see results.  Saying persevere is easy while everything's going well, but people talk about 2, even 3 weeks without any progress despite their best efforts.  I have to wonder how I'll stand up to that.

Anyway, an issue for another time.  And if there's one thing I can say about taking up blogging, I know at least I'll have a forum to bitch about it!!  For now, I'm looking forward to a good week, and a strong weigh in next week.  And if it doesn't play out that way, I'll just keep trying...

Monday, March 22, 2010

Weekend musings

The back of my football jersey (and Maple Leafs jersey, but we don't talk about that) says FB for the name.  As some of you may have guessed FB means Fat Bastard.  Several of my friends use this as a nickname for me, but others are bothered or offended by it.

I get where they're coming from.  At first glance it probably seems cruel, or indicative of some type of self respect issue when I use it, but it isn't, not really.  Let's look at this honestly.  There's no doubt that I am a fat man :)  I wouldn't be blogging about weight loss if I wasn't!  You can call it whatever euphemism you are most comfortable with, but the reality remains the same.  My body has a higher percentage of fat than average (OK, talk about understating the case!!).

Am I happy with this state of affairs?  Nope!  Wouldn't be trying to change something I like now would I?  Is being a fat man part of my view of myself?  Of course it is.  We are not defined by our physicality, but I would be dishonest if I said it doesn't have some impact.  Am I bothered by it?  Yes and no.

I'm pretty comfortable with what and who I am.  I don't feel like I'm being mistreated or discriminated against, I have friends and family who love me and am overall pretty happy with my life.  And that leads to the Yes part of the yes and no, if you're happy with your life you should really be striving to extend that life as long as possible. 

I'm not sure if being fat is going to kill me.  There's lot's of evidence to show that its not healthy, and it certainly isn't helping, but what I do know for sure is that being unfit is deadly.  And being overweight makes getting and staying fit just that much more difficult.  Running is tough work.  Running with 100lbs of lard strapped to you is that much tougher!  The extra weight is hard on the joints, hard on the back and hard on the lung capacity (internal organs surrounded by fat reduce the ability to inhale as deeply as possible).  Hence some of the desire to lose the excess flab.  Of course vanity comes into play too :)  I won't pretend that I don't want to look better too, but really this is about health.

There are a number of things my weight has restricted me from doing as well, and to me that's unacceptable.  I don't think we have long enough to do everything we want to anyway, and to find that there are things you want to try but can't purely because of your size bugs me.  So, I'm doing something about it.  We'll see as time goes on how successful I am, but I think that as long as you put in your best effort you've done what you can.

For me at least, this is not a journey with an end.  I will be working at this for the rest of my life,  just looking to the next challenge.  One day I will reach the weight I want to achieve, put another F in front of FB (for formerly) and wear it with pride, still working, just on maintaining and improving.  But until then, I will wear my FB with the same pride and enjoy every day as thoroughly as I can!

Weigh in tomorrow, probably going to get spanked, and deserving it.  Should be a good thing though.  I think I'm getting a little complacent and need a quick kick in the butt to remind myself that actions have consequences.

On the workout front, swam this morning and had one of those times when you feel really strong.  I love that feeling!  I was commenting (OK, whining) last week that my fitness levels weren't improving in pace with my weight loss.  A good friend was quick to point out that I couldn't even have imagined going to the gym or swimming 6 months ago, let alone being where I am today (thanks!!!).  And in the end, that's really what counts.  I'm better now than I was before, and I'll be better next month than I am right now

Friday, March 19, 2010

Didn't weigh in this week

Not going to make excuses...no one, myself included cares to hear them anyway.  I'm going to hold off until Tuesday next week and do my weigh in then.  Have really been struggling this week, swam once, did a 2Km on Tuesday and really haven't done the swim/gym thing otherwise.

As happens periodically to everyone else working on losing weight and getting fit, I'm in the doldrums right now.  Its as though the 50lb mark took some of the wind out of my sails.  Just not feeling the level of motivation I was before.  Not to worry though, I will find it again!  In some ways its really good to have this happen, I need to know that there will be problems and times when its not as easy as others, and I can still recommitt and keep going.

On the plus side, I've had several people comment this week on the fact that they can really see the weight loss.  That definitely feels good!  Still a tremendous distance to go, but a little external validation of your successes helps a lot.

I've decided to start posting more regularly here, I find that it makes me more accountable on some level, and accountability is key (for me at least).  I've been reading other blogs from people who are 100+ lbs overweight and are trying to get healthier, they're all really inspirational to me and its good to see that we all have the same issues with motivation at times.  I really hope that someone can read this and find the same thing!  I'm going to throw some recipes and such up here as well, my new mission is to try to "skinny" down some of my favourite dishes and see if I can keep them palatable :)

As far as my recommittment is concerned, its a beautiful day today in Toronto, I'm going for a bike ride this evening (hopefully the chain will stay in one piece this time...) and if the weather holds out for another day I'll run/walk tomorrow morning.  I have a couple of plans in the hopper right now and will update as things progress, but for now I'm going to focus on getting my head back in the game.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Preemptive whining

Honestly, I've been doing pretty well with getting up and going to the gym or swimming, I love the way it feels to start my day this way and I'm getting better at actually getting up and going.  Apparently if you just throw the sheets off and get out of bed as soon as the alarm goes off you suffer less than lying there trying to work up the energy.

All of this adds up to me actually getting pretty good with the morning workout schedule.  Of course nothing happens without its challenges, and I see a big one coming on Sunday!  Daylight Savings Time returns, and with it, the attendant loss of an hour's sleep.  Every year when this day rolls around getting up in the morning sucks for the next week or so.  It was bad enough before, but now that I'm bouncing (OK, slowly dragging myself) out of bed at what feels like a truly ungodly hour I think its really going to bite.

I don't know this for a fact, hence the title for this posting.  I figure I'll get in some preemptive whining before actually finding out how bad its really going to be :)

Fact is, I'm going to get up and go anyway.  When I first started this schedule it was miserable, and only the fact that I know someone who goes even earlier than me made me persist, so I know I can do it.  Basically, in case you hadn't noticed, this posting is just me bitching about losing an hour's sleep, nothing to do with weight loss or working out or anything else.  Just me complaining because I'm finally getting used to the schedule and now its going to suck again!!

OK, enough about that.  I'll revisit this next week if it turns out to not be so bad, but if its truly heinous I'll suck it up and not mention it (except maybe on Twitter) since I think I've gotten it out of my system in advance.

As a side note, we're putting our house up on the market, so there's lots of painting, patching, decluttering etc going on at home.  Its funny, the more we declutter and paint, the more I love the house!  I'm starting to worry by the time we finish up (hopefully the end of next week) I won't want to sell.  One real positive from the workout perspective, moving boxes and packing up books definitely counts as weightlifting and stretching excercises.  I figure by the end of the weekend I'll have done at least an extra 150 squats and a couple of hundred high weight reps!  Always look on the bright side....

Looking forward to a great weekend, though the weather's supposedly not good.  Hoping to get a lot done, get to the gym both days and still get the house sorted.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

OK, I said I wouldn't talk about it...

But who am I to deny myself a little victory dance?  I hit a milestone today...50lbs, I broke the 50lb weightloss line.  I said to a friend that it wasn't really a big thing, in the overall perspective of where I want to go it kind of seems like an artificial milestone, but she quickly shot that down.

And she was right.  Sure, from one view any milestone is artificial, but the truth is this is something to be proud of.  I've put the time and effort in, and should not be trying to downplay the success I've had so far (yay me!).  Honestly, I'm inordinately proud of this, and as much as I say this is about fitness and lifestyle, not the scale, it really is motivational!  Way I'm feeling right now, if I had my gear I'd probably go for a run :)

In other news, I finally bought my bike.  Got myself a Gary Fisher hybrid (pics to follow) after much debate and was absolutely pumped to take it out for a ride, which I did.  Unfortunately, the chain did not agree with my enthusiasm and promptly commited seppuku, leaving me with a handful of chain grease and a fairly long walk home pushing the brand new (and very good looking) bike.

In an attempt to maintain my excitement regarding riding, and to deny the sneaky, nasty voice in my head that says that I'm too heavy for it, I'm going to stick with the statement that this was a manufacturing or assembly defect and just go with that!

As you can no doubt tell, I'm feeling pretty upbeat and motivated right now, and so will leave you with

this thought...

The question should never be "can I?" since of course you can, but rather "am I willing to do what's required?"

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Another weigh in done!

well, I said in yesterday's postings that I'd had a bit of a struggle (ahem...messed around) last week, so I shouldn't be too disappointed with this week's outcome.  On the plus side, I'm down...On the minus side, its 0.2lbs, which means I probably exhaled while on the scale.

Overall, things have going well, and there's bound to be some self inflicted bumps on the road so this is actually a good thing.  Especially since I went swimming and to the gym and have gotten right back on the eating properly program.  Let's just call it Olympic excitement and move on.  I've read that a dramatic change in active lifestyle and eating patterns can force the body to respond by going into starvation mode, so let's wait a week and see if I actually helped myself out :)

On the bike front, I'm still struggling to decide between two options.  I hate buying something when I really don't know anything about it, I've read reviews and checked the web, and I'm still stuck!  I think I'm just going to pick one, to hell with it!  As was pointed out to me yesterday, its almost time to start moving the training outdoors, and I'd really like to include biking in that regimen.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Trying not to be a lazy blogger

OK, I'm not going to pull this card out again, but I'm pretty new to this blogging thing so I haven't been as diligent as I could've been about keeping it up to date.  Some of the things I've read suggest that to blog properly you need to do it every day.

I'm not about to do that!  I don't say I never will, but at this time it just seems excessive for what I want to say.  I'm double posting today since I left my previous post in draft for over a week...First a quick update.  I weighed in last week, and after the 10lb drop the previous week I was ready to take a bit of a hit without feeling any disappointment.

Well, I wasn't disappointed...I actually lost another 2.5lbs.  Gotta say, a little surprised, and very happy!  Things are going well, and I have a milestone coming up.  I'm not going to talk about it because this is not what this project is about.  I'm not racing to lose weight, not planning to let the scale define how successful I am.

As big as I am, it took time to get here, and I'm unconcerned about how long it'll take to get back (if back is actually an appropriate description for someone who's been obese for as long as I have).  Whenever I get to a point where I feel like I'm at a healthy weight and fitness level, I'll move onto maintaining it.  Since the big goal is to maintain there's really no rush.  This is the rest of my life, which hopefully is getting longer by the pound!

Anyway, the past week was not so good.  I sucked at going to the gym, ate pretty poorly a couple of times and basically behaved like the Mike of old.  Funny, previous times I would've found excuses and somehow it would've led to me slacking off on the whole program, but this doesn't seem to be the case.

I'm kind of shrugging my shoulders, saying "this is going to happen sometimes", and getting back into the swing of things.  The try-a-tri defintely helps, I know I still have to race in June, but more than that I am really gaining something from this whole thing.  A sense of personal accomplishment, a feeling that I'm addressing the one area in my life I've consistently failed at, and that's a pretty powerful feeling.

There are times when being a loser really is a good thing!

NOTE:  DIDN'T POST THIS WHEN I WROTE IT, POSTING FROM DRAFT...

I'm really trying hard to keep from injuring my shoulder by patting myself on the back too much, but its pretty difficult when I went to weigh in and came back with a 10lb weight loss for last week.  Let me say that again slowly so I can savour it...10 lbs...

OK, I'm not delusional, I realize that this number is likely not entirely valid, and that I'll probably see a swing back next week to compensate, but seriously, there aren't many of these opportunities out there so I'm going to enjoy it while I can!

Contrary to the Biggest Loser I know that weight loss at this level is not healthy or sustainable, but right now I really don't care!  It feels great, loving the feeling of seeing the numbers drop and really getting some additional motivation from this.

Love the way I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something here, and really enjoying the journey so far :)

Monday, February 15, 2010

A little late but finally here

Well, I'm finally getting around to the promised post-vacation posting...Sorry for the delay, things have been a little busy and a little bizarre this week and I've only worked up the energy to write this today.  First off, the obligitory "I am so great" dance!  I did it!  My goal was to continue my weight loss during the cruise, and I did it.  My weigh in showed a loss of 4lbs over the week I was cruising.

I have to say, all joking aside, I am really proud of this.  I really believe this is an accomplishment, and something to hold onto as a motivator when things get tough (as they definitely will...).  I made some really good choices when faced with the endless, and I do mean endless, barrage of food available on board and I maintained a solid workout schedule, including taking the opportunity to forgo the treadmill in favour of actually getting to do my run (uhhh...I mean walk...) outside.

I also took on a bit of a challenge by signing up for an excursion in St Thomas they listed as "strenuous activity required a good fitness level", a 7 km hike over a large ridge to get to a beautiful and isolated beach on the island of St John.
Just getting ready to start, and even then we had to walk 1/2 a kilometre to get to the trailhead.  Gorgeous walk though, plenty of plants, animals and butterflies to see, almost took the sting out of the 400 meter vertical we were also doing in order to crest the ridge!!

The picture below is what you get if you are willing to hike 4km over a ridge with the knowledge that you will have to hike the same distance back (unless you have a driver waiting at the other side of the beach, a 3km hike uphill to bring you back to the harbour).

Ah, beautiful white sand beaches and crystal clear waters with rays and tropical fish, even the occasional dolphin, though we didn't see one.  Truly a paradise, and just inconvenient enough to keep most people away from it, leaving it largely unspoiled by the crowds many of the beaches in the Caribbean are plagued by.

Our vacation definitely started on a good note.  We had decided that as there was only a $30 difference between hiring a private car from a limo service to drive us from our hotel to Port Canaveral versus using the RC shuttle we might as well go in comfort and at our own schedule.  Well, surprise, surprise, we certainly got the comfort part right!  Here's the "car" that showed up in the morning to drive us to the ship...Big shoutout to the Happy Limo Co.  Thanks for a good start!

Our landing on day 2 at Coco Cay in the Bahamas unfortunately fell victim to the vagaries of February weather, but we sailed out early, allowing us to arrive in St Thomas 6 hours ahead of schedule.  This absolutely falls into the category of a good trade. 

D and I took a cab from the harbour to Magen's Bay, ranked in the top ten most beautiful beaches in the world by National Geographic.  However, I still think the beach we visited on St John later that day was better, though that may purely be due to the huge crowds at Magen's Bay as opposed to having Honeymoon Beach essentially to ourselves.

St Maarten on day 3 was really cool too, we sailed and snorkelled in the morning, and then took a cab over to the French side (St Martin) for lunch and to explore the open air bazaar in the centre of Margiot.  Back to the dutch side in time to wander the streets of Phillipsburg before returning to the Freedom of the Seas for a couple of sailing days.

D got a nice wrap here, but I don't have a pic...

Sailing days were great for working out, and I got to put a big bite into my reading list.  For anyone who's interested, my reading list for this trip:

Julie and Julia (still working on it)
The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie (absolutely loved it!!)
Still Alice (excellent, but definitely NOT vacation material!)
The Bishop's Man (kind of having a rough time with this one, but I'll keep plodding)

When we docked, we had an entire day to ourselves prior to flying out, so we packed a rental car with our bags and headed off to Epcot.  Wow, Epcot's grown up in the 15-20 years since I was last there!  Had a great time, Soarin' may be one of the coolest things ever!  Anyway, we're likely taking a long weekend trip back to Orlando in a month or so to do the Magic Kingdom and the Harry Potter theme at Universal. 

This is inside the Mexico pavilion, terrible ride (thanks Laural...), good food!

Awesome trip, can't wait for our next one!!


Thursday, January 28, 2010

Throwing down the gauntlet


I'm leaving on vacation on Saturday...Can I say that one more time just cause I love the way it sounds? I'm leaving on vacation on Saturday. My wife and I are heading to Florida to start a week long Eastern Caribbean cruise with Royal Caribbean.

Don't get me wrong, this is a great thing. It breaks the back of winter, gives me time to de-stress and forget about work for a while and maybe even convert my skin tone from its current pasty white to a somewhat less pasty off white.

There's a problem however. RC is known for the quality (and quantity) of food on board its cruise liners. Add in freely flowing cocktails in the sun and most people claim you can expect to gain 1lb a day on the cruise!

So here's where the gauntlet hits the ground. I will not! In fact, my challenge to myself is to return weighing less than I do right now. I know that the ship has a full gym and multiple swimming pools, and that the ground excursions offer plenty of opportunity to get out and walk or swim so maintaining an excercise plan should not be an issue. That just leaves the food, the glorious meals awaiting me. I can do this, there's no reason to believe that there won't be absolutely fantastic dishes that are also lower calorie/fat options.

I'm going to make sensible choices and stick to my goals, and my next entry will be the blogging version of the "I am so great" dance of victory. Anyway, I'll update you either way.

Monday, January 25, 2010

I have a new friend


OK, I think I've established that going out for a drink or two has been a bit of a stumbling point in my quest to shrink myself. Well yesterday I met what may be my new bestest friend. Molson Canadian 67! A 67 calorie beer, can you hear the angelic chorus playing in the background??

Now don't get me wrong, its not good. I mean its seriously not good. But what it is, is acceptable. I can drink it, I can even feel as though I'm having a beer. Given my size, obviously sacrifices need to be made in order to reach my goals. I need to work out hard, cut down what I eat, change what I eat, and cut down on the beers.

Well, working out seems to be going ok, I actually enjoy it. Even got up this morning at 5:30 and swam laps. Eating, also going ok, really not a big deal. And now, beer...MC67 may be the salvation, its not good, but it might be good enough. And at this point good enough sounds pretty damn great!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Signed up and everything

Well, that's it. My registration is done, I am officially registered for the Try-A-Tri on June 19th. Went to my personal trainer yesterday, told him my plans and suddenly I have a bright shiny new program.

Ugh, did the new workout last night...me so out of shape (colour me surprised there!). Feeling like a walking corpse today, no real aches, just freakin' exhausted! Ah well, if the training doesn't kill me the race probably (emphasis on probably) won't either.

Shopping for a bike this week, something I can use for at least the first year or so. Damn things aer pricey, I've bought vehicles with engines that cost less! Anyway, once I make my selection I'll post a pic so all of you (yes, all 3 of you...) can admire it.

Haven't made it to swimming in a couple of days, feeling pretty run down in the morning, gonna need to bite the bullet though. So far the swimming component seems to be the real issue, 375m isn't very much, but damn its work right now!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Oh oh, now the rubber hits the road


Well, I just checked the site, and the registration for the Guelph Lakes triathalons have now opened...

Of course I have no intention of running a triathalon in June, not only would that be crazy, but pretty close to impossible. That being said though, there is a race called the Try-a-Tri, a much shorter version of the traditional triathalon (in this case a 375m open water swim, 10 Km bike ride and a 2.5 Km run). I have committed (sometimes feeling that I should be committed...) to do this race on June 19th and I intend to meet that commitment.

As you may have read earlier, I am working out and swimming regularly, all with an eye to doing this, but now that the registration is available it really seems more real. Surprising myself though, I'm actually more excited that scared by it. I've never really done anything of this sort before, athletic endeavors (swimming aside) always being more a source of potential humiliation than anything else.

That said, in retrospect, I was probably much more focused back then on excelling and missed the point, which is to succeed. I've come to the realization over time that being great at something is so not the point, doing something is.

And so I trot off to the gym tonight, the pool tomorrow morning, and prepare myself to not win the Try-A-Tri but to finish it (ok, a good finishing time really wouldn't hurt....).

Anyway, I keep this updated.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

One week later

Well, a week since my last post, and I just got weighed in yesterday. Its official, I have lost 28lbs since this started. Now don't get me wrong, I'm ecstatic about this, I can already feel the difference while moving and bending and its a great start for my June goals. That being said, before the last post I was basically in the exact same place as I am right now. My eating has been going well, the gym has rocked, I'm keeping to my workout and swim schedule (though there's some tweaking required) so everything should be shiny. Not so much...you see, I've been out drinking too often over the last couple of weeks.

Don't get me wrong, going out with my friends for drinks is vital to my well being, it de-stresses me, I love their company, its fun and relaxing. No, going out isn't the problem, drinking too much while I'm out is.

So, and those who know me are laughing right now, the word of the day is MODERATION. There's no good reason why going out for a drink after work (or on Sunday for a football game...) needs to include double digit drink counts.

I am going out tonight, milestone birthday for one of my friends, and I'm going to test this theory. I got up at 5:45AM today to go for my morning swim, does it really make sense to piss away (pun intended) that effort just to have a couple of extra beers? I'm saying no, but time will tell I suppose...

Stay tuned!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Happy New Year (decade)

Well, its a whole new year and I've decided to post those resolutions that I always make and never follow through with. Given that there's only like three people in the world who actually read this blog I know I'm not exactly putting myself out there...

Nonetheless, I think what I'm going to do is not just throw the resolutions out there, but find a way to track how well I'm sticking to them. At very least some day in the future I'll be able to look back and say "there I was, and that's what I did". Anyway, on with it.

My first and foremost resolution is regarding working out. I've promised to do a mini-triathalon and a 5Km run in June, and in case the profile photo didn't show it clearly enough, this is not doable without a great deal of hard work on my part, and some significant sacrifice. Therefore, I resolve to swim, in incrementally increasing distances, 3 times a week for the entire year. Additionally I will attend the gym 3 times a week. I figure if I stagger the days and the timing (ie swimming in the morning, gym the next evening I'll survive).

Don't get me wrong, this is probably not going to be a joyous undertaking, at least for the first while, but I really can't meet my promises without doing it, and as a friend of mine has always said, "word is bond". If you can't live up to your promises, who are you?

Well, that actually segues nicely into resolution 2...Keep my promises...
OK, I'm actually pretty good at this one for the most part, but I have a strange habit of not meeting the ones that I make to those I really should. Confusing sounding a bit, but I think its a case of taking things for granted. I know I'm going to be forgiven so I let things slide. Well no more! Its occurred to me over the last little while that the people who forgive you most easily are the ones you owe the most to, unconditional acceptance is rare and should be treasured.

So, that takes care of the serious ones and the philosophical maunderings behind them, now the fun stuff.

Learn to play bass guitar, and then play in front of someone (anyone really...)

Skydive. Yes, find it in myself to jump out of a perfectly functional aircraft for no other reason than the thrill

I think that's enough for now, the fun stuff is for much later in the year, but I'll track the exercise here and let you know how I'm doing with it, and as for the promises... I'm not promising anything.