Some thoughts

Sorry folks, I thought I'd actually done this post, but with everything going on I guess I forgot.  Anyway, first things first.  My last weigh in, another 3.6 lbs down.  Very happy about that, it really does feel like I'm making the kind of progress on this I believe I need to make for this to be a permanent solution.

I am running the Rat Race on June 10th, and so on Tuesday we went for a lunch time run.  It was great!  Tiring and maybe a little depressing since it pointed out how far I had to go, but also inspiring because I know 4 months ago I couldn't have done 1/10 of what I did.  I was fortunate to have a friend who kindly chose to run with me, and although she is FAR beyond my level she stayed and pushed me harder.  Amazing how much someone pushing you can help.

We ran again yesterday, and it was genuinely an enjoyable experience.  I'm surprised, but I think in the long term I could really get into running.  There's something about it that seems to appeal to me, and I wouldn't have expected that.

There was a down side though.  After the run, someone made a really cruel comment and my friend took it very much to heart.  Didn't matter that it was patently untrue, there are things in our hearts we can't wipe out no matter what our heads tell us.  Really took some of the enjoyment out of what was otherwise a great run, and got me thinking.

The other day I saw a show about a guy who had lost 400lbs.  I'm absolutely in awe of the sheer strength of will and determination that it must have taken to do something like that.  I know how much I struggle, and read how others struggle and can't imagine what it must've felt like to look at that starting point and realize how far you have to go.  Truly amazing.  And yet, he was completely paralysed by a lack of self image.  The person he had become still contained the person he was and he couldn't get past it.

It made me think, is this going to be the case?  I don't know.  I tend to believe, and so far it seems to be the way it is, that rather than hanging onto where I was I'm feeling great about what I've accomplished.  I'm feeling pretty good about things as they stand, I know I have a ways to go yet, but I'm definitely looking better and I'm going to keep that in mind all the time.

And to cruel comment guy...I'm fat and you're an a**hole but I'm losing the fat, and you'll still be an a**hole.  I win!