Weekend musings

The back of my football jersey (and Maple Leafs jersey, but we don't talk about that) says FB for the name.  As some of you may have guessed FB means Fat Bastard.  Several of my friends use this as a nickname for me, but others are bothered or offended by it.

I get where they're coming from.  At first glance it probably seems cruel, or indicative of some type of self respect issue when I use it, but it isn't, not really.  Let's look at this honestly.  There's no doubt that I am a fat man :)  I wouldn't be blogging about weight loss if I wasn't!  You can call it whatever euphemism you are most comfortable with, but the reality remains the same.  My body has a higher percentage of fat than average (OK, talk about understating the case!!).

Am I happy with this state of affairs?  Nope!  Wouldn't be trying to change something I like now would I?  Is being a fat man part of my view of myself?  Of course it is.  We are not defined by our physicality, but I would be dishonest if I said it doesn't have some impact.  Am I bothered by it?  Yes and no.

I'm pretty comfortable with what and who I am.  I don't feel like I'm being mistreated or discriminated against, I have friends and family who love me and am overall pretty happy with my life.  And that leads to the Yes part of the yes and no, if you're happy with your life you should really be striving to extend that life as long as possible. 

I'm not sure if being fat is going to kill me.  There's lot's of evidence to show that its not healthy, and it certainly isn't helping, but what I do know for sure is that being unfit is deadly.  And being overweight makes getting and staying fit just that much more difficult.  Running is tough work.  Running with 100lbs of lard strapped to you is that much tougher!  The extra weight is hard on the joints, hard on the back and hard on the lung capacity (internal organs surrounded by fat reduce the ability to inhale as deeply as possible).  Hence some of the desire to lose the excess flab.  Of course vanity comes into play too :)  I won't pretend that I don't want to look better too, but really this is about health.

There are a number of things my weight has restricted me from doing as well, and to me that's unacceptable.  I don't think we have long enough to do everything we want to anyway, and to find that there are things you want to try but can't purely because of your size bugs me.  So, I'm doing something about it.  We'll see as time goes on how successful I am, but I think that as long as you put in your best effort you've done what you can.

For me at least, this is not a journey with an end.  I will be working at this for the rest of my life,  just looking to the next challenge.  One day I will reach the weight I want to achieve, put another F in front of FB (for formerly) and wear it with pride, still working, just on maintaining and improving.  But until then, I will wear my FB with the same pride and enjoy every day as thoroughly as I can!

Weigh in tomorrow, probably going to get spanked, and deserving it.  Should be a good thing though.  I think I'm getting a little complacent and need a quick kick in the butt to remind myself that actions have consequences.

On the workout front, swam this morning and had one of those times when you feel really strong.  I love that feeling!  I was commenting (OK, whining) last week that my fitness levels weren't improving in pace with my weight loss.  A good friend was quick to point out that I couldn't even have imagined going to the gym or swimming 6 months ago, let alone being where I am today (thanks!!!).  And in the end, that's really what counts.  I'm better now than I was before, and I'll be better next month than I am right now