Well, today was weigh in day. First one in two weeks, and they were two weeks I can't say I'm really proud of from a weight loss/excerise/motivation perspective, so I was ready for a swift kick in the butt. I didn't really get it...oh, don't get me wrong, I didn't do well, I only lost 0.2 lbs, but I didn't gain either.
I'm really not sure how I feel about that. A part of me was really looking forward to the shock of gaining some back, that cold sense that all the work so far can easily just drift away. As I've been reading other people's blogs about losing weight and excercising I've noticed that many of them talk about hitting plateaus. These are points when for whatever reason, your body just says "nope, not going to shed another pound, stop begging".
This is not a plateau. I stalled. Plateaus happen as the body adjusts to the changes occurring in it and you eventually push through and resume your weight loss as long as you stick to your guns. Stalling is different. Stalling is losing sight of your goal and slipping quietly back into the habits that got you here in the first place. I'm back on track again, and so I'll admit to being pretty happy to not having to make back ground, but it worries me a bit.
It is soooo easy to fall back into bad habits, scary easy when you consider I actually like swimming, going to the gym and eating properly. I also wonder that if I can fall off the horse for no apparent reason, how am I going to handle a plateau when even though I've done everything right I still don't see results. Saying persevere is easy while everything's going well, but people talk about 2, even 3 weeks without any progress despite their best efforts. I have to wonder how I'll stand up to that.
Anyway, an issue for another time. And if there's one thing I can say about taking up blogging, I know at least I'll have a forum to bitch about it!! For now, I'm looking forward to a good week, and a strong weigh in next week. And if it doesn't play out that way, I'll just keep trying...
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Weekend musings
The back of my football jersey (and Maple Leafs jersey, but we don't talk about that) says FB for the name. As some of you may have guessed FB means Fat Bastard. Several of my friends use this as a nickname for me, but others are bothered or offended by it.
I get where they're coming from. At first glance it probably seems cruel, or indicative of some type of self respect issue when I use it, but it isn't, not really. Let's look at this honestly. There's no doubt that I am a fat man :) I wouldn't be blogging about weight loss if I wasn't! You can call it whatever euphemism you are most comfortable with, but the reality remains the same. My body has a higher percentage of fat than average (OK, talk about understating the case!!).
Am I happy with this state of affairs? Nope! Wouldn't be trying to change something I like now would I? Is being a fat man part of my view of myself? Of course it is. We are not defined by our physicality, but I would be dishonest if I said it doesn't have some impact. Am I bothered by it? Yes and no.
I'm pretty comfortable with what and who I am. I don't feel like I'm being mistreated or discriminated against, I have friends and family who love me and am overall pretty happy with my life. And that leads to the Yes part of the yes and no, if you're happy with your life you should really be striving to extend that life as long as possible.
I'm not sure if being fat is going to kill me. There's lot's of evidence to show that its not healthy, and it certainly isn't helping, but what I do know for sure is that being unfit is deadly. And being overweight makes getting and staying fit just that much more difficult. Running is tough work. Running with 100lbs of lard strapped to you is that much tougher! The extra weight is hard on the joints, hard on the back and hard on the lung capacity (internal organs surrounded by fat reduce the ability to inhale as deeply as possible). Hence some of the desire to lose the excess flab. Of course vanity comes into play too :) I won't pretend that I don't want to look better too, but really this is about health.
There are a number of things my weight has restricted me from doing as well, and to me that's unacceptable. I don't think we have long enough to do everything we want to anyway, and to find that there are things you want to try but can't purely because of your size bugs me. So, I'm doing something about it. We'll see as time goes on how successful I am, but I think that as long as you put in your best effort you've done what you can.
For me at least, this is not a journey with an end. I will be working at this for the rest of my life, just looking to the next challenge. One day I will reach the weight I want to achieve, put another F in front of FB (for formerly) and wear it with pride, still working, just on maintaining and improving. But until then, I will wear my FB with the same pride and enjoy every day as thoroughly as I can!
Weigh in tomorrow, probably going to get spanked, and deserving it. Should be a good thing though. I think I'm getting a little complacent and need a quick kick in the butt to remind myself that actions have consequences.
On the workout front, swam this morning and had one of those times when you feel really strong. I love that feeling! I was commenting (OK, whining) last week that my fitness levels weren't improving in pace with my weight loss. A good friend was quick to point out that I couldn't even have imagined going to the gym or swimming 6 months ago, let alone being where I am today (thanks!!!). And in the end, that's really what counts. I'm better now than I was before, and I'll be better next month than I am right now
I get where they're coming from. At first glance it probably seems cruel, or indicative of some type of self respect issue when I use it, but it isn't, not really. Let's look at this honestly. There's no doubt that I am a fat man :) I wouldn't be blogging about weight loss if I wasn't! You can call it whatever euphemism you are most comfortable with, but the reality remains the same. My body has a higher percentage of fat than average (OK, talk about understating the case!!).
Am I happy with this state of affairs? Nope! Wouldn't be trying to change something I like now would I? Is being a fat man part of my view of myself? Of course it is. We are not defined by our physicality, but I would be dishonest if I said it doesn't have some impact. Am I bothered by it? Yes and no.
I'm pretty comfortable with what and who I am. I don't feel like I'm being mistreated or discriminated against, I have friends and family who love me and am overall pretty happy with my life. And that leads to the Yes part of the yes and no, if you're happy with your life you should really be striving to extend that life as long as possible.
I'm not sure if being fat is going to kill me. There's lot's of evidence to show that its not healthy, and it certainly isn't helping, but what I do know for sure is that being unfit is deadly. And being overweight makes getting and staying fit just that much more difficult. Running is tough work. Running with 100lbs of lard strapped to you is that much tougher! The extra weight is hard on the joints, hard on the back and hard on the lung capacity (internal organs surrounded by fat reduce the ability to inhale as deeply as possible). Hence some of the desire to lose the excess flab. Of course vanity comes into play too :) I won't pretend that I don't want to look better too, but really this is about health.
There are a number of things my weight has restricted me from doing as well, and to me that's unacceptable. I don't think we have long enough to do everything we want to anyway, and to find that there are things you want to try but can't purely because of your size bugs me. So, I'm doing something about it. We'll see as time goes on how successful I am, but I think that as long as you put in your best effort you've done what you can.
For me at least, this is not a journey with an end. I will be working at this for the rest of my life, just looking to the next challenge. One day I will reach the weight I want to achieve, put another F in front of FB (for formerly) and wear it with pride, still working, just on maintaining and improving. But until then, I will wear my FB with the same pride and enjoy every day as thoroughly as I can!
Weigh in tomorrow, probably going to get spanked, and deserving it. Should be a good thing though. I think I'm getting a little complacent and need a quick kick in the butt to remind myself that actions have consequences.
On the workout front, swam this morning and had one of those times when you feel really strong. I love that feeling! I was commenting (OK, whining) last week that my fitness levels weren't improving in pace with my weight loss. A good friend was quick to point out that I couldn't even have imagined going to the gym or swimming 6 months ago, let alone being where I am today (thanks!!!). And in the end, that's really what counts. I'm better now than I was before, and I'll be better next month than I am right now
Friday, March 19, 2010
Didn't weigh in this week
Not going to make excuses...no one, myself included cares to hear them anyway. I'm going to hold off until Tuesday next week and do my weigh in then. Have really been struggling this week, swam once, did a 2Km on Tuesday and really haven't done the swim/gym thing otherwise.
As happens periodically to everyone else working on losing weight and getting fit, I'm in the doldrums right now. Its as though the 50lb mark took some of the wind out of my sails. Just not feeling the level of motivation I was before. Not to worry though, I will find it again! In some ways its really good to have this happen, I need to know that there will be problems and times when its not as easy as others, and I can still recommitt and keep going.
On the plus side, I've had several people comment this week on the fact that they can really see the weight loss. That definitely feels good! Still a tremendous distance to go, but a little external validation of your successes helps a lot.
I've decided to start posting more regularly here, I find that it makes me more accountable on some level, and accountability is key (for me at least). I've been reading other blogs from people who are 100+ lbs overweight and are trying to get healthier, they're all really inspirational to me and its good to see that we all have the same issues with motivation at times. I really hope that someone can read this and find the same thing! I'm going to throw some recipes and such up here as well, my new mission is to try to "skinny" down some of my favourite dishes and see if I can keep them palatable :)
As far as my recommittment is concerned, its a beautiful day today in Toronto, I'm going for a bike ride this evening (hopefully the chain will stay in one piece this time...) and if the weather holds out for another day I'll run/walk tomorrow morning. I have a couple of plans in the hopper right now and will update as things progress, but for now I'm going to focus on getting my head back in the game.
As happens periodically to everyone else working on losing weight and getting fit, I'm in the doldrums right now. Its as though the 50lb mark took some of the wind out of my sails. Just not feeling the level of motivation I was before. Not to worry though, I will find it again! In some ways its really good to have this happen, I need to know that there will be problems and times when its not as easy as others, and I can still recommitt and keep going.
On the plus side, I've had several people comment this week on the fact that they can really see the weight loss. That definitely feels good! Still a tremendous distance to go, but a little external validation of your successes helps a lot.
I've decided to start posting more regularly here, I find that it makes me more accountable on some level, and accountability is key (for me at least). I've been reading other blogs from people who are 100+ lbs overweight and are trying to get healthier, they're all really inspirational to me and its good to see that we all have the same issues with motivation at times. I really hope that someone can read this and find the same thing! I'm going to throw some recipes and such up here as well, my new mission is to try to "skinny" down some of my favourite dishes and see if I can keep them palatable :)
As far as my recommittment is concerned, its a beautiful day today in Toronto, I'm going for a bike ride this evening (hopefully the chain will stay in one piece this time...) and if the weather holds out for another day I'll run/walk tomorrow morning. I have a couple of plans in the hopper right now and will update as things progress, but for now I'm going to focus on getting my head back in the game.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Preemptive whining
Honestly, I've been doing pretty well with getting up and going to the gym or swimming, I love the way it feels to start my day this way and I'm getting better at actually getting up and going. Apparently if you just throw the sheets off and get out of bed as soon as the alarm goes off you suffer less than lying there trying to work up the energy.
All of this adds up to me actually getting pretty good with the morning workout schedule. Of course nothing happens without its challenges, and I see a big one coming on Sunday! Daylight Savings Time returns, and with it, the attendant loss of an hour's sleep. Every year when this day rolls around getting up in the morning sucks for the next week or so. It was bad enough before, but now that I'm bouncing (OK, slowly dragging myself) out of bed at what feels like a truly ungodly hour I think its really going to bite.
I don't know this for a fact, hence the title for this posting. I figure I'll get in some preemptive whining before actually finding out how bad its really going to be :)
Fact is, I'm going to get up and go anyway. When I first started this schedule it was miserable, and only the fact that I know someone who goes even earlier than me made me persist, so I know I can do it. Basically, in case you hadn't noticed, this posting is just me bitching about losing an hour's sleep, nothing to do with weight loss or working out or anything else. Just me complaining because I'm finally getting used to the schedule and now its going to suck again!!
OK, enough about that. I'll revisit this next week if it turns out to not be so bad, but if its truly heinous I'll suck it up and not mention it (except maybe on Twitter) since I think I've gotten it out of my system in advance.
As a side note, we're putting our house up on the market, so there's lots of painting, patching, decluttering etc going on at home. Its funny, the more we declutter and paint, the more I love the house! I'm starting to worry by the time we finish up (hopefully the end of next week) I won't want to sell. One real positive from the workout perspective, moving boxes and packing up books definitely counts as weightlifting and stretching excercises. I figure by the end of the weekend I'll have done at least an extra 150 squats and a couple of hundred high weight reps! Always look on the bright side....
Looking forward to a great weekend, though the weather's supposedly not good. Hoping to get a lot done, get to the gym both days and still get the house sorted.
All of this adds up to me actually getting pretty good with the morning workout schedule. Of course nothing happens without its challenges, and I see a big one coming on Sunday! Daylight Savings Time returns, and with it, the attendant loss of an hour's sleep. Every year when this day rolls around getting up in the morning sucks for the next week or so. It was bad enough before, but now that I'm bouncing (OK, slowly dragging myself) out of bed at what feels like a truly ungodly hour I think its really going to bite.
I don't know this for a fact, hence the title for this posting. I figure I'll get in some preemptive whining before actually finding out how bad its really going to be :)
Fact is, I'm going to get up and go anyway. When I first started this schedule it was miserable, and only the fact that I know someone who goes even earlier than me made me persist, so I know I can do it. Basically, in case you hadn't noticed, this posting is just me bitching about losing an hour's sleep, nothing to do with weight loss or working out or anything else. Just me complaining because I'm finally getting used to the schedule and now its going to suck again!!
OK, enough about that. I'll revisit this next week if it turns out to not be so bad, but if its truly heinous I'll suck it up and not mention it (except maybe on Twitter) since I think I've gotten it out of my system in advance.
As a side note, we're putting our house up on the market, so there's lots of painting, patching, decluttering etc going on at home. Its funny, the more we declutter and paint, the more I love the house! I'm starting to worry by the time we finish up (hopefully the end of next week) I won't want to sell. One real positive from the workout perspective, moving boxes and packing up books definitely counts as weightlifting and stretching excercises. I figure by the end of the weekend I'll have done at least an extra 150 squats and a couple of hundred high weight reps! Always look on the bright side....
Looking forward to a great weekend, though the weather's supposedly not good. Hoping to get a lot done, get to the gym both days and still get the house sorted.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
OK, I said I wouldn't talk about it...
But who am I to deny myself a little victory dance? I hit a milestone today...50lbs, I broke the 50lb weightloss line. I said to a friend that it wasn't really a big thing, in the overall perspective of where I want to go it kind of seems like an artificial milestone, but she quickly shot that down.
And she was right. Sure, from one view any milestone is artificial, but the truth is this is something to be proud of. I've put the time and effort in, and should not be trying to downplay the success I've had so far (yay me!). Honestly, I'm inordinately proud of this, and as much as I say this is about fitness and lifestyle, not the scale, it really is motivational! Way I'm feeling right now, if I had my gear I'd probably go for a run :)
In other news, I finally bought my bike. Got myself a Gary Fisher hybrid (pics to follow) after much debate and was absolutely pumped to take it out for a ride, which I did. Unfortunately, the chain did not agree with my enthusiasm and promptly commited seppuku, leaving me with a handful of chain grease and a fairly long walk home pushing the brand new (and very good looking) bike.
In an attempt to maintain my excitement regarding riding, and to deny the sneaky, nasty voice in my head that says that I'm too heavy for it, I'm going to stick with the statement that this was a manufacturing or assembly defect and just go with that!
As you can no doubt tell, I'm feeling pretty upbeat and motivated right now, and so will leave you with
this thought...
The question should never be "can I?" since of course you can, but rather "am I willing to do what's required?"
And she was right. Sure, from one view any milestone is artificial, but the truth is this is something to be proud of. I've put the time and effort in, and should not be trying to downplay the success I've had so far (yay me!). Honestly, I'm inordinately proud of this, and as much as I say this is about fitness and lifestyle, not the scale, it really is motivational! Way I'm feeling right now, if I had my gear I'd probably go for a run :)
In other news, I finally bought my bike. Got myself a Gary Fisher hybrid (pics to follow) after much debate and was absolutely pumped to take it out for a ride, which I did. Unfortunately, the chain did not agree with my enthusiasm and promptly commited seppuku, leaving me with a handful of chain grease and a fairly long walk home pushing the brand new (and very good looking) bike.
In an attempt to maintain my excitement regarding riding, and to deny the sneaky, nasty voice in my head that says that I'm too heavy for it, I'm going to stick with the statement that this was a manufacturing or assembly defect and just go with that!
As you can no doubt tell, I'm feeling pretty upbeat and motivated right now, and so will leave you with
this thought...
The question should never be "can I?" since of course you can, but rather "am I willing to do what's required?"
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Another weigh in done!
well, I said in yesterday's postings that I'd had a bit of a struggle (ahem...messed around) last week, so I shouldn't be too disappointed with this week's outcome. On the plus side, I'm down...On the minus side, its 0.2lbs, which means I probably exhaled while on the scale.
Overall, things have going well, and there's bound to be some self inflicted bumps on the road so this is actually a good thing. Especially since I went swimming and to the gym and have gotten right back on the eating properly program. Let's just call it Olympic excitement and move on. I've read that a dramatic change in active lifestyle and eating patterns can force the body to respond by going into starvation mode, so let's wait a week and see if I actually helped myself out :)
On the bike front, I'm still struggling to decide between two options. I hate buying something when I really don't know anything about it, I've read reviews and checked the web, and I'm still stuck! I think I'm just going to pick one, to hell with it! As was pointed out to me yesterday, its almost time to start moving the training outdoors, and I'd really like to include biking in that regimen.
Overall, things have going well, and there's bound to be some self inflicted bumps on the road so this is actually a good thing. Especially since I went swimming and to the gym and have gotten right back on the eating properly program. Let's just call it Olympic excitement and move on. I've read that a dramatic change in active lifestyle and eating patterns can force the body to respond by going into starvation mode, so let's wait a week and see if I actually helped myself out :)
On the bike front, I'm still struggling to decide between two options. I hate buying something when I really don't know anything about it, I've read reviews and checked the web, and I'm still stuck! I think I'm just going to pick one, to hell with it! As was pointed out to me yesterday, its almost time to start moving the training outdoors, and I'd really like to include biking in that regimen.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Trying not to be a lazy blogger
OK, I'm not going to pull this card out again, but I'm pretty new to this blogging thing so I haven't been as diligent as I could've been about keeping it up to date. Some of the things I've read suggest that to blog properly you need to do it every day.
I'm not about to do that! I don't say I never will, but at this time it just seems excessive for what I want to say. I'm double posting today since I left my previous post in draft for over a week...First a quick update. I weighed in last week, and after the 10lb drop the previous week I was ready to take a bit of a hit without feeling any disappointment.
Well, I wasn't disappointed...I actually lost another 2.5lbs. Gotta say, a little surprised, and very happy! Things are going well, and I have a milestone coming up. I'm not going to talk about it because this is not what this project is about. I'm not racing to lose weight, not planning to let the scale define how successful I am.
As big as I am, it took time to get here, and I'm unconcerned about how long it'll take to get back (if back is actually an appropriate description for someone who's been obese for as long as I have). Whenever I get to a point where I feel like I'm at a healthy weight and fitness level, I'll move onto maintaining it. Since the big goal is to maintain there's really no rush. This is the rest of my life, which hopefully is getting longer by the pound!
Anyway, the past week was not so good. I sucked at going to the gym, ate pretty poorly a couple of times and basically behaved like the Mike of old. Funny, previous times I would've found excuses and somehow it would've led to me slacking off on the whole program, but this doesn't seem to be the case.
I'm kind of shrugging my shoulders, saying "this is going to happen sometimes", and getting back into the swing of things. The try-a-tri defintely helps, I know I still have to race in June, but more than that I am really gaining something from this whole thing. A sense of personal accomplishment, a feeling that I'm addressing the one area in my life I've consistently failed at, and that's a pretty powerful feeling.
I'm not about to do that! I don't say I never will, but at this time it just seems excessive for what I want to say. I'm double posting today since I left my previous post in draft for over a week...First a quick update. I weighed in last week, and after the 10lb drop the previous week I was ready to take a bit of a hit without feeling any disappointment.
Well, I wasn't disappointed...I actually lost another 2.5lbs. Gotta say, a little surprised, and very happy! Things are going well, and I have a milestone coming up. I'm not going to talk about it because this is not what this project is about. I'm not racing to lose weight, not planning to let the scale define how successful I am.
As big as I am, it took time to get here, and I'm unconcerned about how long it'll take to get back (if back is actually an appropriate description for someone who's been obese for as long as I have). Whenever I get to a point where I feel like I'm at a healthy weight and fitness level, I'll move onto maintaining it. Since the big goal is to maintain there's really no rush. This is the rest of my life, which hopefully is getting longer by the pound!
Anyway, the past week was not so good. I sucked at going to the gym, ate pretty poorly a couple of times and basically behaved like the Mike of old. Funny, previous times I would've found excuses and somehow it would've led to me slacking off on the whole program, but this doesn't seem to be the case.
I'm kind of shrugging my shoulders, saying "this is going to happen sometimes", and getting back into the swing of things. The try-a-tri defintely helps, I know I still have to race in June, but more than that I am really gaining something from this whole thing. A sense of personal accomplishment, a feeling that I'm addressing the one area in my life I've consistently failed at, and that's a pretty powerful feeling.
There are times when being a loser really is a good thing!
NOTE: DIDN'T POST THIS WHEN I WROTE IT, POSTING FROM DRAFT...
I'm really trying hard to keep from injuring my shoulder by patting myself on the back too much, but its pretty difficult when I went to weigh in and came back with a 10lb weight loss for last week. Let me say that again slowly so I can savour it...10 lbs...
OK, I'm not delusional, I realize that this number is likely not entirely valid, and that I'll probably see a swing back next week to compensate, but seriously, there aren't many of these opportunities out there so I'm going to enjoy it while I can!
Contrary to the Biggest Loser I know that weight loss at this level is not healthy or sustainable, but right now I really don't care! It feels great, loving the feeling of seeing the numbers drop and really getting some additional motivation from this.
Love the way I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something here, and really enjoying the journey so far :)
I'm really trying hard to keep from injuring my shoulder by patting myself on the back too much, but its pretty difficult when I went to weigh in and came back with a 10lb weight loss for last week. Let me say that again slowly so I can savour it...10 lbs...
OK, I'm not delusional, I realize that this number is likely not entirely valid, and that I'll probably see a swing back next week to compensate, but seriously, there aren't many of these opportunities out there so I'm going to enjoy it while I can!
Contrary to the Biggest Loser I know that weight loss at this level is not healthy or sustainable, but right now I really don't care! It feels great, loving the feeling of seeing the numbers drop and really getting some additional motivation from this.
Love the way I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something here, and really enjoying the journey so far :)
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